What is Executive Presence? | Part 1: Appearance

Most of us have a sense of what Executive Presence is, and there is certainly no lack of definitions on the net, but for purposes of trying to “wrap our brains around” what it is in order to acquire it (or contemplate whether or not we have it or how much we have), it seems like a good idea to develop a way to gauge it and see how we stack up!

Executive Presence has 3 components:

• appearance
• communication
• gravitas
  

Appearance is obviously all about how we look, but it’s also in a larger sense how we “show up” … it’s not just wearing a suit and tie or a pearl necklace and high-heels. It’s more related to how professional people believe us to be. That’s the part that’s open to interpretation. Certainly how we dress has an effect on people’s perceptions of us, but we could have blind spots that impact our appearance being as strong as it could be.

For example, if you remember during the last two elections, Hilary Clinton changed her appearance a great deal. She always dressed professionally, but she changed it up a lot in both elections. Her hair style and clothing made her look more youthful, while still being age-appropriate. Her clothes were also big enough. Sometimes as we age, people keep on wearing the styles that worked for them when they were younger rather than embracing the new look of aging. Appearance (when it comes to presence) is about projecting the view of you that you want others to hold. If you want people to look up to you, you have to fit the perception of what people believe someone of respect looks like. Wearing clothing that is tight or out of style doesn’t serve you well. You might need someone to point that out.

Appearance is also the look on your face; how you move, motion, gesture. In a sense, it includes your non-verbal communication. Do you “appear” to be in a hurry or are you “focused?” Do you “appear” to be genuinely interested or acting the part? Do you “appear” to sincere or having an agenda? Your body language, dress, demeanor, and actions can speak volumes, and not always in her favor.

The thing about appearance is it doesn’t have to be true! You may look unprofessional yet be extremely professional in your actions. The problem is people may not give you the chance to demonstrate how professional you are. That expression “walk the walk .. talk the talk” has some relevance here. If you don’t look the part you are playing, you may be in an imposter. The goal is to send a consistent message. That’s the reason how you dress matters. And that’s the reason everything matters about your appearance.

Some things to think about:

• Does your dress depend on your moods or do you dress consistently?
• Do you frequently struggle to put an outfit together, or are you prepared to “suit up” whenever necessary with all the accessories?
• Have you ever taken photos or gotten advice from others on how you look? If you did, did you change your look to address their concerns?
• Does you hair style and jewelry match your look?
• Do you always smell great and look clean and orderly?
• Do you have any quirks that send a mixed message? (purple hair, tattoos, a long beard, crazy shoes, strange patterns)?
• Do your clothes match?
• Do you wear neutral colors and standard closures/buttons/clasps or do you wear bright colors, ornate fabrics/designs and complicated closures /buttons/clasps?
• Do you look “well-kempt” or messy like you just crawled out of bed?
• If you exercise, do you have a plan for how to “suit up” again afterwards w/o looking sweaty or ready for the gym?

It matters! We all have blindspots … what are yours? And are you willing to address them?

In my next posting, I’ll talk about the other 2 components!

Source URL: http://englishbythehour.com/what-is-executive-presence/

Jaw Dropping - English by the Hour

If there’s one commonality all non-native speakers could focus on, it’s jaw dropping. Easier said than done. Most languages have more closed mouths and often tighter jaws. Even for Americans, tight jaws can occur (like TMJ) and clients may experience jaw clicking or even pain. Some dentists recommend night guards, and there are even massage techniques that can help. In general, though, a tight closed jaw given a person a stronger accent in American English.

You can hear it!
If you listen, you can hear when someone is not jaw dropping. Instead of extending the lower jaw, many non-native speakers hold the jaw closer, even squeezing the teeth together to make sounds. Not only does this make the jaw tighter, it also makes the sounds more “tense” (American English is “lax”), so the quality can be “speedy” or “harsh.”

To modify this you can do the following:

• Practice dropping the jaw when you’re not saying anything … just drop the jaw slowing and mindfully, and it will get easier.
• Identify which vowels have the greatest drop (*hint* hint* the long /a/ in “not” in one of them), and focus on really opening your mouth and dropping your jaw on those sounds
• Notice which consonants are elongated with jaw dropping in English (commonly the -d, -l, and -n sounds are most notable) and drop consistently on those, elongating those sounds (record so you can monitor how you sound).

Jaw dropping is incredibly important if you desire an American Accent.

Source URL: http://englishbythehour.com/jaw-dropping/

Public Speaking & Presentations for Non-Native Speakers of American English

There’s no shortage of information on how to give a presentation or how to be a good public speaker. The suggestions, examples, advice, and descriptions run the gambit from videos to how-to guides to checklists.

If English isn’t your first language, however, you might need to concern yourself with a different kind of thought process.

Are there any words you just can’t pronounce?

• If you struggle again and again with the same words, find an alternative or a workaround so you don’t have to say that one “word” or “words” that really throws you off your game! Plan ahead so you don’t stumble each time and have difficult recovering, causing you to lose credibility with your audience.

Do you have a hard time introducing topics and/or seguing from one topic to another:

• If you find yourself struggling or repeating the same words over and over, like “next” or “and then we come to”, actually take some time to script your “connecting language.” What are you going to say “between the slides” to shift the audience’s perspective. Can you prepare them for what comes next and “reframe” it so they can embrace the new ideas fully when you get there.

Do you make a lot of grammatical mistakes when you talk?

• You may feel you’re just not sure your saying it right, or you may get feedback from people that you speech has some “issues.” You can start by recording it to see if you hear the mistakes. Awareness is the first step to creating change. Once you hear the mistakes, look for patterns. Let’s say it’s subject/verb agreement or sing/plural, so you might find yourself saying things like “these process is hard to follow” or “many concept.” The key hear is to document your mistakes, say them correctly, and then catch yourself each time you do it incorrectly, and make the correction in real-time outloud (while practicing, obviously not in front of an audience).

Do you feel like you have to read a script or memorize your talk word-for-word?

• If extemporaneous speech just isn’t your thing, that’s ok. Prepare. Prepare well. Research, draft, summarize. Write down not just the words you will use, but the connecting words that precede and following. If you are doing to talk about a “procedure” include words like “implement the procedure” so you know to use the article and you have the right word, or “analyze it item by item” using the word “by” to insure you don’t ad-lib and choose the wrong connecting preposition. Details matter when you speak publically. You don’t want to sacrifice credibility by getting sloppy. But you don’t have to memorize a script either! Try to talk from main ideas. Draft “talking points” and address them. Practice speaking correctly but freely and record yourself when no one is around and then practice in front of others. Don’t wait until you are in front of your target audience or you will feel like you wish you had a script! If you are prepared with what you want to say, it will be easier to say it correctly.

Source URL: http://englishbythehour.com/public-speaking-presentations-non-native-speakers-american-english/

So You Talk Too Fast… Now What?

It’s a given that many people talk so fast that others can’t understand them. Maybe you are one of those people. I’m one of those people. So what can we do to improve our speech so everyone understands us?

The first step is to realize that it’s not just the speed you are speaking at. It’s the perception in the “ears” of the listener that you are talking faster than the time it takes for them to  process what you say. That’s important because it’s less about you slowing down than it is changing their perception.

How do you change their perception?

• Self Awareness: Notice how you are breathing when you speak and become aware when you are holding your breath. Notice your patterns when you start to speed up, and consciously begin inhaling and exhaling. Slow down on the words that you are really critical. Instead of saying them louder or more emphatically, try just saying them more s-l-o-w-l-y for emphasis. Be aware of your gait and notice if you pause or speak continuously. When you notice, just breathe.
• Strategic Pausing: We all know it’s important to pause when we are speaking, but do you ever notice how hard it is to take this advice in real time when your focus is on the content and your audience and not your speech? To start pausing strategically, it has to become a habit. To change a habit once you are awareness of it, you have to do be consistent in your intervention. Next time you notice you are speaking fast without pausing, come to a logical “pause point” between thought, and close your mouth. JUST CLOSE YOUR MOUTH and breathe. That’s your pause. Now open as you exhale and continue … repeat this process of fully closing and inhaling and then open and exhale as you speech. Make it methodical. Make it consistent until it become a new habit.
• Timing: Timing may be “everything”, but how do you change yours? Again, habit is the key. If your timing is lightning fast, you will speak that fast. Meditation is great, but it also has to become a habit. As with meditation, start slowing your breath periodically throughout the day. Inhale and exhale and sync your thoughts with your breath. When you feel emotions that speed you (nervousness, excitement, passion, anger, frustration, pressure/stress), practice returning to the breath and calming yourself as a daily, regular, consistent process. The goal is to connect to self and stay in control until your natural timing changes. Then speaking at a controlled pace will no longer be a challenge.
• Audio Record yourself: But rather than listening only for your own perception of how you sound, listen for your breathing patterns. Can you hear your inhaling and exhaling or are you holding? What does holding sound like? When you are breathing, how does your speech sound differently from when you are holding your breath? Now sync your habits with your breathing as you practice speaking aloud and processing cognitively at the same time.

No one wants to squelch your passion or slow down your thought process. If you can find a way to continue to think quickly and freely and still give the listener the perception that you are speaking at a comprehensible pace, you will create a win/win … still thinking fast and speaking in a freely-flowing way that sounds intelligible, clear and cognitively manageable!

Source URL: http://englishbythehour.com/talk-fast-now/

Small Talk

I’m often asked to help clients with small talk, and almost always, they are embarrassed about asking. It’s like they’re supposed to know how, and when they don’t, they aren’t comfortable announcing it. The truth small talk isn’t as easy as it sounds. If you think about it, talking to strangers for periods of time is likely to be a challenge for anyone, but especially someone who uses English instrumentally for work and grew up speaking another language used to personal relationships. Not only that, culturally, some places don’t really embrace small talk, so a lot of people don’t perfect those skills in any language.

How to get past it? It’s important to remember that even many Americans struggle with small talk. Not necessarily because they are shy (although that’s on reason). It could also be that they don’t know what to talk about or have not had good experiences bringing things up to strangers in the past. Let’s face it, some people just aren’t great at conversational speech out of context. So, how do you go about socializing with strangers and making small talk?

I like the concept of starting with “safe” subjects. What’s safe? The traditional advice of talking about the weather is never a bad choice. Everyone needs to know when a storm is brewing. There are also the cultural taboo topics of talking about death or politics or something either morbid or likely to cause people to be divisive, opinionated or to take sides. In the US, asking people how much they pay for things is also not considered a real polite thing to do, whereas many other cultures do this and seem to integrate it into politics.

Personally, I think safe topics are the ones people volunteer. If you hear someone talking about their dog, you can feel free to ask about it. However, you probably wouldn’t walk up to a stranger and ask if the person has a dog, although it wouldn’t be rude; it would just seem odd and may lead nowhere. When someone brings up a topic, they are at least suggesting an interest in it and a willingness to talk about it.

The good part is that once you start doing small talk and find out it’s not as scary as you thought, and you’re even starting to meet people, you’ll realize it’s not so intimidating and you’ll be able to plunge in and socialize until it gets more comfortable. Since strangers by definition don’t repeat themselves, you can discover what works for you and use it again next time!

Source URL: http://englishbythehour.com/small-talk/